I Keep Forgetting

 

I keep forgetting 

I keep forgetting that life is not normal

I keep forgetting the sky

I keep forgetting to lift my face to the sun

I keep forgetting that you just have to let life have you

    that sometimes you have to abandon your own ideas

    plans, priorities, agendas, wishes, thoughts

    longings

    yearnings

    cravings

I keep forgetting my soul needs sustenance

I keep forgetting I even have a soul

I keep forgetting to breathe

I keep forgetting who I am

how hard it can be

compassion

how to write

how to lay back and surrender

I keep forgetting tenderness

    to forgive myself

and that grief is an ocean

    a deep, dark greedy sea

    

At the last minute I remember to order flowers

I remember to pick up my camera

    my real camera

    the one whose shutter sings in 

    melodious staccato bursts

I remember the glorious pleasure

I remember the nourishment

I remember color, texture, light, line, blur,

    freedom 

I remember rules are made for breaking

I remember my love of blue

    and too much light,

    that beauty is in the eye of the beholder

    that nature Herself is filled with chaos

I remember the irises that grew over the septic tank

    iridescence unmasked

    when seasons could be counted on

    when spring still came each year

    and butterflies were bountiful

I remember that life is anything but normal

I remember that sometimes you have to let life take you

    in all of Her wisdom

I remember to breathe

I remember who I am

    that I am~that we all are~so much broader, deeper, divine 

I remember that hard is a necessary part of the journey

I remember that it's just words, no rules, just words

    amazing, fantastic, prosaic, 

    bring you back home words

I remember it's okay to surrender

I remember to cry

    to place both of my hands on my heart

    to let it all come

I remember moments pass, one after the other

    that the only true thing is change

I remember the darkness holds its treasures too

I remember what they say about the cracks

    and light

    brokenness

    and healing

I remember that the ocean arrives one wave at a time

    bathes the shore

    and recedes

    one after the other

    that some waves roll in with great gentleness

    others pound away taking everything with them

    returning everything to the depths

    again and again

    leaving you in a heap on the sand

    to be born over and over and over again.